Help! I Can't Reach An Orgasm Or Climax With My Boyfriend
My Boyfriend Never Has an Orgasm When I Go Down on Him
The first time I ever went down on my boyfriend, he said it was amazing, but I wasn't able to make him orgasm. This has continuously happened every single time I have gone down on him. He says that I do an amazing job, and now he attributes his inability to orgasm when I go down on him to delayed ejaculation. I would like to believe that this is true, but at the same time, I'm worried it is my performance. We are in a long-distance relationship, so whenever we have phone sex and he masturbates, he seems to finish really quickly, and once when we were on a train and getting a little touchy-feely, he said he finished when I never even touched his penis. We have tried almost everything, and nothing seems to work. Could it truly be delayed ejaculation, or is my extremely nice boyfriend just sparing me the hurt of knowing I can't give good head? Don't worry about this. A lot of women have the impression that all guys get off easily, in every way. But that's not true. The penis might look like an on-off switch, but it's more complicated than that. When it comes to orgasm for guys, it is very literally different strokes for different folks.
Sex isn't just about orgasm — not for women or men. There are plenty of things guys enjoy that don't get them off, and it's different for every guy. I sincerely doubt your guy is lying when he says you're amazing when you go down on him. And "delayed ejaculation" is probably just his clumsy, apologetic way of saying, "It feels awesome but I don't understand why I can't come that way."
Honestly, it doesn't mean anything that he can come quickly in his own hand while sharing some hot dirty talk via webcam. Sounds hot. And do you know how much practice that guy's had with his hand? Scratch that — you probably don't want to know…
I want to ask about a particular person that I've had a crush on for a while. We've been friends for a long time, and after I had gotten out of my previous relationship a few months ago, I asked this guy out, and the result was ultimately a no (after he said yes then turned around and said we should stay platonic). A few weeks back, I invited some friends to go out for my birthday, and this guy showed up, and we talked on and off for the reminder of the party. He was really attentive, actively enjoying our conversation, and kept physical contact with me (like holding my hand or the small of my back) as we talked. Then the next day, he asked if he could take me out on a date, and after thinking it over for a while before I answered, I finally said yes. After a few days, he said he had some free time to go out and we made plans for a Wednesday night. But a few hours before, he texted and said he was really sick, but that he still wanted to see me and would go to the doctor to make sure I didn't catch anything. He kept texting apologies and that we would plan on going out Sunday instead. When Sunday came, he said he had been out busy for the weekend and was just tired and wanted to sleep. Yet he still asked to see me. When I asked if he would have any plans for Friday night, he said he should be free but it was too early to tell and left it at that. Friday has come and gone, and I haven't heard from him about going out on a date. I am not sure what to do at this point. He said he was interested and I have not heard from him, but on all of my social media pages, he's been liking my posts and commenting on my recent photos. Did I make a mistake while pursuing him? I haven't blown up his phone with text messages, and I wasn't sure if I should have asked if we were still on Friday night. I think we really had a connection that clicked, and I really do think he felt it too. Should I stop wasting my time?A guy friend of mine was just having the same problem: He met a woman and asked her out to coffee. She said she'd love to see him over the weekend. So he texted back. She apologized and said she was busy but said she would "love" to get together a week later. A week later, he texted again. Then she had a work trip. He waited another week. Same thing. Over and over. So I'll tell you what I told him:
You don't know what else is going on in this person's life. He could be seeing someone else. He could be ending a difficult relationship. He could be Tinder-bingeing on casual hookups. He could be reconnecting with an ex. Or he could genuinely be very busy with life, work, family, friends, his model-airplane collection, or Netflix. You just don't know.
But here are two things you do know:
- He does like you. This guy is not just being "nice" by texting back and emailing and asking you to reschedule. He probably does want to see you.
- He doesn't like you so much that he's willing to reschedule his other plans.
And that's basically all you know.
I wouldn't say that you've wasted your time, but I will say that I hope you've gotten the message — and that you don't waste too much time pursuing him now. You've made a good-faith effort. You've let him know that you're interested and you tried to make plans. The ball has been rolling around on his side of the court for a while now.
I'd guess that you're probably thinking about him more than he's thinking about you. So you might as well think about him less too. Don't chase him. Look around and see who else is out there. If he comes back to you, deal with him then. But he's actually not being confusing. He's showing you very clearly that (right now, at least), you are not his priority.
For men after their wife gives birth, does the feeling of sex, meaning the feeling of his penis in her vagina changes because maybe the wife's vagina has become loose? Or do men not notice this and sex feels the same for them?The short answer: Yes, men usually notice a change because a woman's body usually changes.
Obviously, there's a lot of variation. In a vaginal birth, a lot of factors determine how the woman's body — and vagina — may or may not change: the size of the baby, the circumstances of the actual delivery, the time passed since the birth, the amount of tearing or stretching, the number of previous births, the strength of the pelvic muscles, and the doctor's procedures. If a woman delivers via Caesarian, there's usually very little change to the vagina. No matter what, creating a human life is a miraculous, natural process — and that's going to have an impact of some sort, no matter what.
In most cases, after a new mother has time to heal (and maybe even catch up on sleep), sex will feel a little different. Bodies bounce back and changes are usually not dramatic — though, again, there's a significant range. A lot of women do get more "loose," and it may take the guy a while to readjust. But, in the vast majority of cases, men do not suddenly stop enjoying sex just because someone's vagina feels a little different. So much goes into sex beyond simple penis size and vagina tightness. And just because something feels different (even if that means "looser"), that doesn't mean it's worse. Sure, there are extreme cases — and certainly we all, men and women, have different tolerance levels for size or tightness or just plain sensation. But would most women suddenlyhatesex, after enjoying it, just because their partner's penis bent a little to the left? Or was a little less girthy? With time, bodies change. So does sex.
Video: My Girlfriend Won’t Cum. What’s Wrong With Her?
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