How to stop being selfish?
Probably, each of us, at least once in our life, came across a manifestation of unprecedented egoism, perhaps you saw it from the side, and maybe someone told you: “This is your egoist!”. The characterization, of course, is not the most pleasant, but everything is not as unambiguous as it might seem at first.
Many are accustomed to believe that the egoists in the world live easier and quieter than others, they do not worry about trifles, adjust everything to themselves and act exactly as it is convenient for them personally. And, no matter how colorful the picture looked, everything is really wrong, as a result, everything returns with the same coin, people are accustomed to living according to the laws “an eye for an eye”, and the Earth, as is known, is round ...
People who are accustomed to lead an egoistic lifestyle, are locked in their own world of desires, thoughts and actions, they do not notice what is happening around, they are not interested in other people's desires, actions and problems.
Thus, they completely shut themselves off from life, getting deeper into the depth of personal problems and interests.One should not confuse self-love, which manifests itself in self-respect and the instinct of self-preservation, with egoism, which overlaps these concepts, fixing on exclusive “self-love”.
Egoism is the very feature that can have certain degrees that will be pronounced to others. For example, a mild degree of egoism is even necessary for a person, but its heavy degrees, which, by the way, can progress over time, prevent normal life and enjoyment of the surrounding world.
Those who decide to step on the right path may be interested in the question of how to get rid of egoism, because it’s not so easy, in fact. The whole essence lies in the root causes, and also, perhaps, in the wrong education, which was laid in a person from the earliest years.
The fact is that all small children are self-centered, up to a certain stage of development, naturally. They think that the whole world revolves around them, the sun sets and becomes dark only because it is time for him to sleep, and so on. Here are just some people outgrow this line and go further, and in some it gets stuck for a long time and, with pleasure, develops.
And yet, egoists are not born, the main reason for the emergence and active development of such a trait is not at all the boundless love for oneself, as you might think, but, just the same, the lack of such a feeling.
The egoist does not believe that people around him can treat him sincerely, the feeling of true love and friendship is alien to him, he is more and more closed in himself and his own world, which absorbs him completely and completely.
How to recognize a real egoist?
To deal with the problem, it is necessary to understand how it manifests itself, if something like that you began to notice in your own behavior or in the behavior of people close to you, then this is a weighty reason to think about changing something in your life.
- Such people during a conversation do not devote time to their interlocutor, in a few hours manage to load a heap of their own problems and experiences, without even thinking about what it would be worth to inquire about the affairs of the opponent.
- They are looking for something in everything, so that they do not do it, it's not just that, such words as charity, unselfishness and sacrifice are completely unknown to them and do not represent special value.
- They deliberately go to actions that can negatively affect the needs and desires of others, no matter how important they are.
- Selfishness is often manifested in relationships, it is difficult for such people to build a family and have children, because you have to sacrifice something, restrict your desires and needs somewhere for the benefit of another person, and for egoists, this is how to go on another planet.
- The egoist is accustomed to demand, believing that everyone around him should, but he does not owe anything to anyone. They are used to taking as much as possible. But give nothing in return.
- Such people, more often than not, are characterized by such epithets: callousness, desire and ability to manage, stinginess.
Not always people who are egoists feel comfortable in their own roles, but sometimes breaking out of a vicious circle is not so easy, because it becomes a kind of lifestyle that does not want to let go of its philistine.
To step on the path of correction and self-improvement, it is necessary to take the first important step: admit to yourself that your degree of egoism has overlapped the normal level. After that, you need to think about how dedication is developed in you? How much are you willing to give,help others and sacrifice something to their detriment, without expecting something in return? Isn't it enough? Then we read what to do in such a situation.
When you realize that you want to get rid of excessive selfishness, you can begin treatment, so to speak, for this, try using our advice.
- Start by studying sacrifice. No, no one forces you to transfer all the savings to the fund of orphans or wild owls, start small, try to take care of others. To begin with, make yourself an installation: one good thing a day, for example, transfer a grandmother across the road, give a ruble to a person in need, replace a work colleague, if he has to go away somewhere, sit down with an unruly nephew while his parents can get out for an hour by their own business. Improvise!
- Learn how to conduct a conversation. Remember, you should take an active part in the conversation, but not only as a speaker, but also as an attentive listener. Pay attention to the gestures of the interlocutor, they will tell you a lot, ask leading questions and show their appreciation to what they heard, your opponent should see that you are really interested in the conversation.
- Get a pet.Let it be a cat or a dog, even a guinea pig or a hamster. You need to monitor, feed, walk and wash the toilet, find time to play and get to the vet. In general, a heap of cares for someone, except for yourself, just will do you good.
- Learn to help people without demanding anything in return. Take the old toys and clothes to the orphanage, take part in a charity event, give a gift to a loved one just like that, for no reason. You will not have time to notice how a warm and pleasant feeling from your deed will arise in your soul, which will push you to further accomplishments.
- Become a member of the team. Register in team competitions, take part in a team competition, become a member of the parent committee or try yourself in a joint project at work. Believe me, this is not as bad as it might seem at first glance.
- Remember, no one and nothing should you, learn to perceive reality as it is, try to pronounce the word “I” as rarely as possible, be more interested in the feelings and deeds of those around you, and then speak about your own.
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