HOW TO BE HAPPY SINGLE | 8 Tips On Being Alone
How to Enjoy Being Single
Being single doesn’t have to be all about drinking wine by yourself every night, pining over a romantic comedy or a distant crush. Being single can give you amazing freedom, and provide you with an opportunity to hone and polish your own skills and life experience. That way, when you do choose to leave the single life behind you will have plenty of independent living under your belt. The key to enjoying your single life is to make the most of your time, take advantage of your freedom, and prepare for a relationship.
Taking Advantage of Your Freedom
Define what being single means for you.Regardless of your situation and reason for being single, it's important for you to identify what being single means to you, especially if youdosee yourself in a relationship in the future. Practice not always needing another person's validation or understanding. Learn to be comfortable being alone, and practice loving and accepting yourself as a single person.
Take a spontaneous trip.Because you don't have to worry about another person's preferences or schedule, you can go where you want, when you want! You can take a day off of work to make a day trip to an unfamiliar city nearby, or perhaps a weekend trip in your own city, to explore freely.
- Being single also means you get to choose your destination. You don’t have to compromise or go somewhere you have no interest in being. The choice is all yours.
Live in a tent (or a similarly transient lifestyle).If you’ve always wanted to live a vagabond’s life, now is your chance. After all, being a relationship might interfere with your desire to hop from campsite to campsite, or call the wilderness your home.
- This option is particularly great if you are young and love to travel. Living in a tent allows you to move about freely, without a house payment or rent, with only a few things to pack up before your next adventure.
Realize your time is your own.Being in a relationship, while it can be wonderful, means sharing your time and life with another person. Being single, you do not have to worry about letting someone else know if you plan to be out for the evening, or you’re off to make a grocery store run in the early morning--or even if you’d like to take a weekend vacation to another city. Having your time all to yourself can be quite empowering.
- You do not have to fill up your spare time with activities. If being at home, or taking long walks on your own makes you happy, go for it. Having time to yourself means having time to do what you love.
Focus on your friendships.Being single doesn’t have to mean being free from all relationships. It can also mean that you have more time and energy to put into your existing friendships. If you have a friend in need, you can rush to their aid without checking in with a partner. If your friends want to go on a trip to a music festival, there’s no one holding you back.
- Some studies have found that single people can actually be happier. The key is in making sure you have strong, fulfilling friendships.
- Remember that your friends are the family you choose. If you don’t have supportive, loving friends, make it a goal to find some.
Making the Most of Your Time
Learn how to be on your own.Being on your own can be a wonderful thing. Learn how to take care of yourself properly, such as how to cook and clean for yourself, how to keep your home clean, how to wash laundry, and how to manage your time. All of these skills will be invaluable to you both as a singleton, and as someone in a relationship.
- This is not an easy task. You might have to start small, by making yourself breakfast each morning, or making a point to iron your work shirts.
- Taking care of yourself properly means different things to different people. Find what works best for you.
Practice self care.Providing the basics for yourself is great, but self care is even more important. On top of making sure you are fed, groomed, and clean, you’ll need to make sure your “cup” is full. For some, that means taking time every morning to meditate and enjoy a slow cup of tea. For others, that might mean going to the gym four times per week to work on your physique.
- Self care will look different for everyone. When developing a self care routine, identify what it is that makes you feel complete and relaxed day-to-day. Make that a priority.
Make (and meet) your goals.Make goals as a single person, and budget your time to accomplish them. You can make small goals, such as eating at least three meals per week at home, or you can make large goals, such as having a promotion by this time next year.
- Make goals that matter to you, not anyone else. Doing so will get you further in life and will be far more important in motivating you to achieve your goals.
Focus on your career.Take the energy you may have spent on a relationship and pour it into your work. Even if you are not in a job that you hope to make a career of, you can improve your future career prospects by, perhaps, working your way up to manage your store, or building your body to fit the demands of a high-ranking labor position.
Preparing for a Relationship
Reflect on past relationships.Past relationships are great for teaching you about yourself and your future relationships. To prepare yourself for the possibility of a new relationship, identify any areas of your past that may have contributed to your break up. Notice anything you may have done to push your partner away, or actions you may have done to be controlling or manipulative. Search for ways you can improve your behavior as a partner.
- Don’t be afraid to take some time to yourself. You don’t need to jump from one relationship to another. Enjoy the in-between times and give yourself time to heal.
Work on your flaws.Take some time to reflect on your character, and notice any flaws you might have. Work on those to be a better partner and friend. This can be hard--no one wants to think about their flaws. But identifying and working on them will make you a better person, and will likely even increase your happiness.
- Perhaps jealousy is a flaw for you. Practice being grateful for what you have.
- Maybe manipulation comes easy to you. While single, practice saying what you actually mean, and being honest with yourself and others.
Evaluate your likes and dislikes.Many people forego their loves in favor of whatever their significant other likes. Take some time to evaluate your likes and dislikes, including your musical taste, your preferences regarding food, drink, and lifestyle, and even what you absolutely require from a relationship or partner. This will make you an invaluable partner, as you will know yourself well, and will not bow down to make other people happy.
- This is another great time to experiment. Try new foods, music, or movies. Do activities you’ve never done before. You may discover things you really love.
Seek help.If your aversion to your single life is insurmountable or feels too overwhelming to sort out by yourself, seek the help of a counselor or therapist. Although you might feel like you are alone in your struggle with being alone, plenty of people struggle to be both happy and single. A qualified professional can give you strategies to cope with your frustration, and may also be able to provide you with a fresh perspective on your situation.
Practice mindfulness.Finally, make some room for gratitude and mindfulness in your life. While single, notice the way food feels against your lips and tongue, notice the sounds you hear as you take your dog for a walk, or tune in to your feelings on a particularly stressful day. Mindfulness helps you know your body and mind thoroughly, so that you can make more concrete decisions, and develop confidence and ease.
- Mindfulness can be difficult when you are in a relationship, as a lot of your time and attention are diverted.
QuestionI love someone too much but he doesn't love me. What should I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIf he doesn't like you then he is not worth it. You are beautiful just the way you are and if he doesn't think you're enough I would find someone who actually deserves you.Thanks!
QuestionHow can I get over someone I love who doesn't love me back?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThis has happened to me. Try focusing on friendship, other activities, and enjoying life. He/she is not interested, so move on, and try forgetting about him/her. Pick up a new healthy habit like running or gardening.Thanks!
QuestionHow do I cope with being single when everyone around me seems to be coupled up?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerJust realize everything in life is cyclical and that it isn't necessarily a bad thing to be single.Thanks!
QuestionIs it true that I'm better off being single than being in a meaningless or on-again-off-again relationship?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYes. It is true indeed. Being in an unhealthy relationship causes stress and disturbs your peace of mind. Learn to love yourself and invest in others' lives (in a non-romantic context). Another truism is that true love will come to you when you're not looking for it, so live your life and refuse to settle.Thanks!
QuestionHow do I love a person even though he sends mixed signals? I know love without pain is impossible, but how do I tolerate how he hurts me?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYou can try talking to him to see if he really cares. If that doesn't help, then it may be time to leave the relationship. If you are questioning how you can be with someone while they hurt you, it is not healthy or safe to be with that person.Thanks!
QuestionWhat if my ex starts trouble?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIf your ex vexes you with any type of pressure on getting back together: ignore them. Unless you are still interested in a romance with them or even just platonic friendship don't let them harass you into making a decision for your life. If you must, tell them you're learning yourself more before being in a committed relationship.Thanks!
QuestionWhat activities can I do to meet new people and make new friends? I want a fun new atmosphere.wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIf you're a teenager, try going for after-school curricular activities, or even to sports clubs. Not only do you meet new people there, you also have the opportunity to make new friends out of your comfort zone. You can check for volunteer opportunities in your area, or check websites that list local events, such as Meetup.com.Thanks!
QuestionWill I ever meet the one?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYes. In the meantime, work toward making yourself "the one" for your future partner.Thanks!
QuestionAs a teenager, how do I manage being single until I get married?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerDating is actually excellent practice for finding a spouse, and you can figure out what you want in a relationship, and what you like in a partner. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and go on dates. Unless you plan to be single for life or have an arranged marriage, gaining experience is key to choosing a good spouse and learning to have a healthy relationship.Thanks!
QuestionMy girlfriend broke up with me, and said it was because she will have an arranged marriage. When we started dating, she said she wanted a marriage based on love. Is she lying?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerMaybe she changed her mind, or maybe she is going along with what her family wants in order to make them happy. You could try asking a friend or family member about the situation, but the truth is, she broke up with you, and it doesn't really matter why.Thanks!
To enjoy being single, take advantage of your freedom by going on a spontaneous trip and try to devote more time to developing your friendships. You can also focus on your career, or even change jobs and move to a new city, since you don't have to factor in a partner's situation when making major life decisions. Next, use your free time to learn a new skill or explore something that interests you. Practicing self-care, working on time management skills, and teaching yourself how to be more independent can also be very rewarding!
- Ignore what people think of your relationship status. Your life is yours, and not anyone else’s.
- Make the most of your single time by hanging out with your single friends. They might enjoy being unattached just as much as you.
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