How to build a relationship with the baby (from 0-3)
You will need
- The desire to build a harmonious relationship with the child
Talk with your child. It is important to understand that you are a guide to the world for a child, you open it to him. And it does not matter that at first he does not answer you - he gets used to the voice of parents, to speech, brain structures are actively developing, which are designed to process verbal information. Thus, you contribute to the mental development of the child. Through speech, the child learns to perceive emotions. Tell what's going on, what you see, what you feel. If you are upset about something, you can say about it - this is how the connections between verbal and non-verbal will be fixed. It is important to remember, the information should not be contradictory - if your whole body, facial expressions, intonation say that you are upset - then the mood should be described in the same categories, for example, "Mom is a bit upset today ...", and not "Nothing happened. All is well ... "By sending conflicting information,you impede the process of learning to recognize emotions, and when a child grows up - it will be difficult for him to trust himself - he will be guided by the words of a significant person, and not by his own feelings.
Children from birth are true in their emotions. It is in the process of education that they learn to hide, substitute, suppress them. Even if you don’t quite like the way a child reacts - accept his feelings, he has rights to get angry and scream ... Your task is to teach your child to express them in a socially acceptable way, but not to camouflage. The child builds his behavior based on your reactions to his needs. If a child demonstrates reactions from time to time that you don’t seem to encourage, for example, screaming in a store when you haven’t bought something - it means that you’ve learned that this is how you can get what you want. It remains to understand when you had time to fix it and what guided you - with a minute “If only you would stop shouting ...” or something else. Having understood this, you first of all correct your behavior and wait for the behavior of the child to change.
Predictable world. For young children, the predictability of the world is important - in this way confidence in it is born, internal anxiety decreases, the psyche is formed more stable.For example, the daily routine becomes recognizable with time and the child is internally ready and knows what awaits him. And when the mother for the first time leaves the baby for a long time - she is not there and this is a fact, and when she returns - it is not a fact. Just returning time after time, the mother teaches the child to trust. For young children there is no concept of time and such a property as to be patient / wait until they are not familiar. If he is tired, he needs rest right now ... otherwise - whims, "bad behavior". With this in mind, the parent is easier to understand the behavior of the child. Only in an atmosphere of trust, love, acceptance - the child can fully develop. Of course, the world itself is unpredictable, and when the child discovers this for himself - he will already have the strength to cope. And there will be no need to control everything around to ensure this very illusory predictability.
Always ask yourself - what am I teaching my baby now? Especially when you don’t know what to do - ban / allow, scold / praise. It can become a compass in the question correctly and or wrongly I act. When a child at the playground does not want to share a toy - you can “persuade” him, based on considerations like “It’s not good to be greedy,” “What would the mother of a kid think with whom your child doesn’t want to share” ...or he can decide for himself whether he wants it or not, this is his toy - these will be the first steps towards an independent decision-making, focusing on himself and his desires. In addition, the child’s self-assessment will remain what is considered to be with him. Children do not have the concept of small / large - a different attitude. This is vaccinated adults. You will see this when the child begins to ask why you can, but not to him, and the argument “Because you are small, and I’m an adult,” will not be convincing and offensive for him.
You as an example to follow. If you declare and demand from your child, for example, respect for things, then you yourself must demonstrate such an attitude. Otherwise, it will be double messages to the child and will not have special power. On the contrary, they will teach a child to say one thing, and to do another. A personal example is a special force, as well as an example of the bad behavior of another child — if you pay attention to this child and discuss it with him, this may be enough for him not to behave this way. Children learn a lot by looking at adults. The child is like a mirror of what is happening in the family, what parents teach by their example. And if something appears in the behavior of the baby, which is alarming - it is a reason to think about how the family lives, as every parent teaches.Family is a system and all family members are interconnected.
Said - done! If you promised something to a child, you must do it. And even if you threatened you with something for bad behavior, you will have to do it. Firstly, it forms the position of consistent behavior and a serious attitude of the baby to the words of the mother. Teaches mom to take seriously. Mom can not only joke and entertain, but also keep her word. Secondly, the child learns to take responsibility for his actions, if he behaves poorly on the playground - the promise to leave her, if the behavior does not change, gives the child the right to choose.
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