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High maintenance me: I get so tired of it sometimes, don't you?

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I’ve never been one for window shopping, regretting that which I can do nothing about or pining for the road not taken. I’m more a “forward march” kind of person. I will, however, on the occasion of the new year, take a moment to reflect on a year that I am very happy to see end.

Let’s see. We had a giant windstorm they’re calling the storm of the century around here; a power outage which caused me, with my miserable immunity, to be ill for two months. I had the flu on Christmas and on the last day of the year we had to have our beloved old cat “put down.” Life can be exhausting sometimes and for those of us who are running around in a constant state of compromise, it sometimes calls for a special degree of effort. I won’t presume to speak for any of you, my friends, but for me, I get damned tired of that special effort. Just once I would like to sit on my fanny and slide…without it hurting, of course. Just once. When I have a long conversation with myself, I have many unanswered questions and nothing really changes. It does, however, help just to get “it” all out. I walk around a mental circle in my mind and end up in the same old spot.

All of the answers I have found over the years, the modalities and things which keep me functioning, remain the same. I try to pay no attention to them and just lie down and ignore life, but eventually, I have to get up, shape up and shut up. I find all three of those things hard to do, how about you? As far the “get up” part of it, I think I have finally licked that hideous case of diverticulitis which was accompanied by an infection in my esophagus. I’m eating more and have pretty much conquered the virus, with some residual cough left over. Today I ran errands in spite of the cold and snow flurries and it felt great to be back out in the world.

The “shape up” part is going to take some effort on my part and I hate that. I wish that desire could make it so but unfortunately, stretches, exercises and strengthening take work. I hate it but I can’t find an alternative. If I’m not strong I have more muscle pain and am definitely more vulnerable to falls, fatigue and general malaise. I got out of the habit of my daily herb and vitamin routine due to the intestinal pain I had, but I know I have to get back on track. Now, as to the “shutting up” part, we all know I’m not going to do that, but it did sound kind of good, for a moment or two, didn’t it?

Creativity is one of my favorite modalities therefore I find myself making plans for the coming new year, such as teaching myself watercolor painting. I’m not all that artsy but I have done my share of creative work with fabric, quilting, etc. When I walk in my front door and look around my home, I get the feeling someone artistic lives here. It must be me because I know it isn’t my husband. I just submitted my annual poetry entrance for consideration at our local college where they have been kind enough over the years to publish many of my poems in their literary magazine.

I know some of you have noticed the technical difficulties the blog has been experiencing at times and ask for your indulgence and patience. I think we’re all worth waiting for and I am certain it will all be resolved. In the meantime, here we are with the same old bodies, same old problems and a new year full of possibilities. A lot of what happens this year is up to us. The part of it that just comes at us, well, we’ll do our best to get through that together.

-Sue

Last Updated:1/8/2008
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Date: 06.12.2018, 16:47 / Views: 44372